Over the years, I have heard one reason or the other why a woman should keep her virginity. Mind you, it is always about the woman, never the man. Now, I’ve never really taken these people seriously and never really pondered why these people said what they said because in my experience, most Cameroonian women usually have 'tasted the goods' anyway by the time they get married or in any case by the time they reach their early/mid-twenties.
So, anyway, I was browsing the internet the other day, when I came across this post Virginity until Marriage
To say I was dismayed is an understatement. I became even more bewildered as I read on. At some point, I realized my brain refused to take in what I was reading and threatened a complete shutdown. I actually had to force myself to keep on reading till the end.
Is this guy serious? Are we living in the dark ages or what? Does the writer of this article realize how chauvinistic and narrow-minded he comes across? It takes two to tango. Are women having sex on their own or are there no men involved? So why is it only the women who are being addressed? What is it with always holding the woman responsible for the ills of society? Get serious.
Virginity in my opinion is seriously overrated! Yes, I said it. Why is it so important that a woman remains a virgin until marriage? Who is it hurting when a grown woman decides to indulge in sex with a man of her choice? Moreover, who is to say that a 'virgin' hasn't experienced all the joys of sex save for penetration?
I take great, I mean great exception to the fact that this writer is trying to tell me, a woman how I should lead my sexual life. I find it downright disrespectful that a woman’s worth is judged by whether her hymen is intact or not. We are more than that! Take heed: It is no concern of yours what I choose to do with that piece of flesh between my legs. I may decide to do away with it at the earliest possibility or I may decide to ‘dash’ it to the first man who catches my fancy or I may decide to keep until I bite the dust. It is my prerogative.
So, good and fine, you think virginity is a virtue that should be upheld. No wahala, but how about it should be upheld by BOTH males and females. Nowhere in this article did I see him mention that a man should also be a virgin till his wedding night. Don't you think it may also be important to some women that they are getting a 'pure, unsoiled' man and no 'old layer'? Or is only something that is applicable to only men?
As a commentator stated, deciding to keep your virginity till marriage or till thy kingdom come, should be a matter of personal choice. It is not something that should be mandated or imposed on anybody.
Now that I am on the topic, I must say I find it amuses me when I hear some brainwashed women say 'I am keeping my virginity for my husband'. Are you aware that while you are busy keeping your virginity for this obscure individual, he is busy f. ucking anything in skirts? So what do you get for all your trouble? If it is not lack of appreciation, it will be STD or at worst you get a cheating husband who is not being satisfied at home, because ironically, you lack the experience to keep him sated.
Let me make myself clear, I have nothing against virginity as such. My problem comes with the reasons tendered and the hypocrisy surrounding it all. How do you explain men being encouraged to ‘sow their wild oats’ and when women do the same, it causes an uproar. Or the fact that men are given a pat on their back for promiscuity while women are scorned for it. You see, someone would say, oh keep your virginity so that your husband/men will respect you. Lies! Don’t buy any of it. That ‘respect’ will last at most a few hours and after that it is back to business as usual. Or you would hear some men would say, I want a ‘pure’ woman for a wife, yeah, right, after having f.ucked the brains out of Manka'a, Eposi and Senge. To be honest, I suspect all these men who INSIST on having an innocent and untouched wife are perverts and paedophiles in disguise. There is something highly intoxicating about violating innocence. Yes, that is how it starts; from wanting a wife with her hymen intact, it will be wanting one who has had no sexual experience at all (think no oral, no petting, no kissing) and where does that lead you? Yes, to the most innocent in our society: the children.
For me, deciding to remain a virgin or not has to be the woman’s choice and her choice alone, without any meddling or manipulation from society. Neither should a woman be judged by society for her decision.
I am happy that more and more Cameroonian women have seen through this bullshit attempt by men to control our sexuality and are expressing themselves sexually like never before. If some bigoted men think women being sexually liberated, is the highway to moral decadence that is their wahala ‘cos there is nothing they can do about it. It is how it is.